Unfortunately, this is a fact ... Women, unlike men, are able to experience unmotivated hostility and irritation for other women for a long time. Simply put, men need a reason for a quarrel, and women need a reason for friendship, men are initially neutral, and women are incredulous and even aggressive. This situation is due to a complex of socio-psychological factors.
The struggle for survival and social roles
Misogyny (from other Greek “hatred” and “woman”) is hatred or prejudice towards women, which manifests itself in the form of sexual discrimination, humiliation and violence. Many religious and philosophical systems give women a subordinate, submissive position.
Friedrich Nietzsche and Arthur Schopenhauer openly declared the inferior status of women. For example, Schopenhauer argued that "between men by nature there is simple indifference, and between women there is innate hostility."
Modern Western experts claim that this is a genetic predisposition aggravated by psychological trauma, the consequences of which must be understood and eliminated.
Psychotherapists wrote huge volumes about hatred of women and earned a ton of money by sorting out such problems. The all-knowing race coaches organize trainings on the topic "Understand and forgive." We will not consider clinical cases that require special treatment, but try to present the most exciting aspects.
The feud between the girls begins at a young age, according to Harvard University biology evolutionist Joyce Benenson. Stereotypes about "good, obedient girls" make you think of milder ways to influence and are subsequently used as they grow older. Boys openly attack those they don’t like, and girls mask hostility and try to manipulate relationships with peers and adults.
In primitive society, no one stuttered about observance of etiquette, so females, along with males, were engaged in hard work and dismembered mammoths, and they could simply ruin an obsessive rival for male attention. Gradually, women got lighter types of work, and as a result they are called the "weaker sex".
Fighting with other ladies does not look civil, so women's intrigues and treachery have become a separate literary category. Emancipation and social equality only exacerbated female mutual distrust and hostility, this happened for several reasons.
Well-known sexologist and family relations specialist Nikki Goldstein (Nikki Goldstein) calls these: competition, jealousy, a sense of personal vulnerability.
• Competition, the struggle for male attention - a textbook dilemma, to wait when they pay attention or aggressively push and push opponents. Women have to maneuver and send inconspicuous signals to the opposite sex about their sympathy.
Unfortunately, the male brain is designed in such a way that it reacts more quickly to specific sentences and the phrase “let's read poetry under the moon, and then reinstall Windows” is taken too literally.
• Jealousy - often even married women feel insecure, it seems to them that they had more profitable options. They begin to compare wealth and consider themselves unjustly affected.
High expectations and modest dividends from real life lead to the fact that a woman blames everyone around for her failures. In a difficult situation, the man will first of all think how to overcome it, and the woman will look for the guilty.
• Social insecurityThe syndrome of the "inevitable victim" is no secret that women in the social hierarchy occupy lower levels, because even many of them received the right to vote in political elections only in the last century.
The steady German expression "Kinder, Küche, Kirche" - children, cuisine, church - very accurately conveys the position of women in public life. And if a woman managed to get into a difficult situation, she was fired or beaten, which means she "deserved it, she had to sit at home."
Even beautiful, successful women continue to habitually expect a dirty trick from others and quietly hate female colleagues and acquaintances. Moreover, the more free time the woman herself has, the more suspicious she is of her husband and her acquaintances.
Features of female friendship and cooperation
According to researchers of gender-specific behaviors, women feel more comfortable in pairs rather than in numerous groups. A woman is able to negotiate with another woman, and, most importantly, control her.
This is a very significant aspect that affects why men predominate among bosses: if a man delegated certain powers to another person, then he simply checks the result, and the woman tends to be present in the process and as a result gets stuck at the execution stage.
As soon as a woman falls into a group where hierarchy and inequality are observed, she tries to take a certain place and constantly fears the presence of other women. Therefore, women are able to quickly cooperate and create alliances against a third party.
Another interesting point: men try to make friends with those who are stronger and more successful, this adds confidence and significance in their own eyes. And women often choose a less attractive and pretty girlfriend, against which they look advantageous.
In addition, a social stereotype is triggered again that a single woman in a club or restaurant "is looking for someone to pick up," but the two friends "just have a rest." Moreover, in the process of cross-communication with men who want to get acquainted, it is easier to decide and make a choice.
When viewing beauty contests, men evaluate who is better and more worthy of the crown, and women look who is worse and is subject to "culling". And even a recognized beauty will undoubtedly receive her portion of criticism and indignation from the female audience.
And the most amazing thing is that a woman will always find something to “regret” another: if she has a successful career, she’s “sorry that she has an unhappy personal life”, and if she has a wonderful family, she’s “sorry that she didn’t achieve anything”.
Women's Ways to Overcome Conflicts
Men in a dispute prove the truth, and women - their own right, it is more important for them to recognize their opinion, even if they are mistaken or say complete nonsense. But at the same time, women are less cautious in conflict situations and are ready to sacrifice their reputation for the sake of momentary superiority.
Men are able to hide their grievances and not show a real attitude for a long time, and women in every possible way show discontent and gradually begin to get angry not because of a specific reason, but because they were not comforted and not reassured.
Therefore, family scandals arise “from scratch” - it seems to the man that if he does not pay attention to minor disagreements, they will be quickly forgotten, and the woman perceives this as a disregard for her feelings and emotions.
It is important for them to pay attention to details and trifles, therefore it is easier to "get on the cash register" to understand the situation and calm an angry woman than to beg forgiveness and carry gifts for a long time. Moreover, you should immediately make amends if a woman answers the question "Are you offended?" answers "Of course not!".
Thus, she does not want to show a need for male complicity, it seems to her that a man is obliged to guess about her state of mind. But the woman-friend from the first second understands when her attention is required. She is able to listen for half an hour about a neighbor who pushed the rug under the door and mortally offended her friend.
There are many examples where two women have not liked each other for years, but as soon as they find themselves in a private setting, for example, in the kitchen for preparing a salad, they can quickly find mutual understanding. The common work and the opportunity to gossip or discuss the rest brings together even the most hostile individuals.
It turns out that open conflict in women is one of the ways to get to know each other better, to determine the boundaries of mutual patience. Therefore, it is not surprising that yesterday's envious and rivals are inseparable today. And if they do not flirt with men now, do not quarrel with each other, then they are probably plotting intrigues against others.
