One can talk endlessly about female friendships.
The relationship between close friends is akin to kindred, because girls sometimes know about each other what the mother or sister do not know.
Not surprisingly, the quarrel is very painful.
There is a feeling of longing, loneliness, painful loss of something very important.
I quarreled with a friend - what to do, how to return the relationship back to normal and is it necessary?
Why did we quarrel with a friend and what to do?
Anything can become the cause of a quarrel: a spoken word not being spoken, an unsuccessful joke. But this is all the little things. Much more serious are other reasons. Most often, friends quarrel due to unsatisfying relationships. The causes of quarrels in this case are negative experiences: resentment, envy, mental pain, jealousy.
Friendship can also survive "growth diseases" when yesterday's schoolgirls, who are friends with the sandbox, become adult girls, young women. The appearance of a man in the life of them from friends often causes conflict. Either the young man does not like the girlfriend, or the girlfriend does not like the young man, and both put pressure on the culprit of the appearance of a love-friendly triangle.
A similar situation arises if a new friendship appears in the life of one of the girlfriends. Whether all three characters agree, God knows. "New" depending on the temperament and strength of character can turn all attention to herself, and the former girlfriend will feel a clear lack of communication. And if there are common secrets between the "separator" and the person whom the girl considered the closest person, a quarrel is inevitable.
People change over time. And one day it may turn out that the person with whom you shared the most secret no longer understands you, or he is bored, or he has other interests. To save friendship in this case, alas, is unlikely to succeed. The question "I quarreled with a friend - what to do" in this case is meaningless, because there is only one answer: nothing. I mean, the previous relationship will be gone.
No less conflict occurs if the character of a friend changes under the influence of the new situation. It can become harsher in judgments, intolerant of shortcomings, or suddenly becomes an unpleasant habit of constantly talking about yourself, your achievements, plans. In general, behaves arrogant and condescending. It is unlikely that such humiliating communication can be tolerated for a long time.
The cause of the quarrel may be envy. If one girl is doing well (an interesting job with high earnings and prospects, a beloved young man) and is generally lucky in life, while the other is sad, quarrels may start from scratch, for any trifling reason.
But the deepest conflict causes a mismatch in worldview and moral attitudes. It is possible for fear of losing a girlfriend to give in to her one, two or three times, doing what the whole creature resists. But constantly trample your "I" will not work. Failure will be perceived with bewilderment and (possibly) anger, and girlfriends will quarrel. Unfortunately, in this situation, it is also pointless to look for constructive solutions to the problem "I quarreled with a friend - what to do." It is very, very difficult to change the view of the world and yourself in it. And it is impossible to change one’s moral principles to strangers.
They quarreled with a friend: put up or not?
Here the question arises whether to put up with a girlfriend. If she does not want to give in, shows psychological aggression, seeks to insist on her own, one should not count on restoring previous trusting relationships. They were based on the main condition of friendship - equality and respect. If this is not the case, then even common interests will not save the situation.
However, if friends differ in their views on the world, but are able to maintain respect for each other, you can transfer the relationship in another direction. In this case, the problem "quarreled with a friend - what to do" may be the beginning of a new friendship. This is better because it eliminates teenage addiction. Any dependence, even love or friendship, leads to negative consequences.
When to put up:
• a quarrel occurred over a trifle, on emotions, and now you both regret it;
• the girlfriend with whom the quarrel is a very good, faithful person, and you know for sure that she regrets what happened no less than you;
• you are to blame for the quarrel, and your girlfriend is a significant, close person;
• she is to blame for the quarrel, but you are ready to forgive and pretend that nothing terrible happened (if nothing really happened happened).
You should not put up if, after a quarrel, you simultaneously feel sadder and more at ease with sadness. It also happens that reconciliation occurs, but no longer causes strong emotions. This means that a friend who has died or is replaced by another will come. No need to be afraid to let new people into your life. All that is done is for the best.
How to make peace if you had a fight with a friend
Who should put up first? It is believed that the culprit of the quarrel should step on the throat of her pride and take the first step towards reconciliation. This is not entirely true. In fact, it is much easier to make a concession to a girl who considers herself an innocent victim of the situation. She has no sense of guilt, and therefore she can easily and simply try to restore relations.
Quarreled with a friend - what to do to be together again? Definitely talk to her. Communication is the only way to understanding, so you can’t do without talking about what happened. Of course, you need to understand well the reasons that caused the quarrel. Honesty and openness are the key to success.
Here's what you can do:
• call, send a funny SMS or a message on a social network;
• ask your mutual friends to arrange an “unexpected” meeting for a pleasant occasion (for example, invite both to a party, a meeting in a cafe, a movie or a country outing);
• come to visit her, give a gift - some nice little thing;
• Make a nice, unobtrusive compliment. You can, for example, like a photo, write a comment, praise your girlfriend’s merits.
If the first step was successful and a friend agrees to listen to you, you need to simply and frankly tell her about the reasons for the quarrel and your attitude to everything that happened. In no case do not blame her, even the initiator of the quarrel was really a girlfriend. It is important to talk about your feelings: “I felt / feel,” “I’m upset,” “I’m disappointed,” “I was scared,” etc.
Forget the word "must." Nobody owes anything to anyone: neither your girlfriend nor you girlfriend. Equal relationship, remember? Negative attitudes, limitations, and evaluation are the surest path to a final breakdown, not reconciliation. It is forbidden to use the words "never again", "do not dare", "always", "I insist" in a conversation.
When analyzing a situation, it is also important to look at it from the side of a friend. Even if you consider her guilty, there may be a good reason for increased emotionality, which caused a quarrel. Maybe a friend had an unpleasant conversation with the boss that day, or did her beloved “happy” cup break?
If you quarreled with a friend - what to do? Compromise is the only way to build a constructive relationship. If you both know exactly what is annoying in a relationship, you must agree to avoid this in conversations and actions. It is important to discuss this point in order to dot all i. Understatement can cause a new surge of negativity.
Start with yourself. Everything that happens around is a reflection of our perception of the world, our consciousness. It is impossible to change a friend, but to change herself is quite real. And as soon as this happens, the world will appear in a new light. Therefore, you do not need to think about whether or not to begin to put up first. If you are afraid to lose friendship, then it’s worth it.
